


catharsis

by 5674l



Series: in the mud or moonlight, I know you [1]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Idk what this is really, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29130360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5674l/pseuds/5674l
Summary: Tommy calls up Alfie to make a new deal.(in between 2x05 and 2x06 to the near end scene of season 2)
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons
Series: in the mud or moonlight, I know you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137518
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	catharsis

“Alright, Tommy.”

It wasn’t a question. The fucking bastard had picked up the phone and already sounded like he was at the point of distraction. Tommy could picture his face staring off into the distance now, on account of Alfie using the same exact tone when he had asked if he’d like to go to Timbuktu of all places. It had sounded threatening then, granted he had just had a gun pointed at him. Now however, it was dark outside and Alfie wasn’t there, he was a voice in Tommy’s ear through the magic of modern invention. He certainly sounded clear though, even on the telephone. How the fuck did he get his voice to carry? Maybe phones had gotten better since he used them earlier that day. Right, earlier that day. When he had heard about Michael and Arthur and Billy fucking kitchen. Tommy should be angry at Alfie.

“Hello Alfie.”

He wasn’t though. He’d burnt out all his rage on fucking Campbell. Now he was stuck on this leather fucking chair in this fucking office, Polly on the fucking warpath somewhere, Ada off being not a fucking Shelby, Arthur and Michael locked up and he didn’t even care. His head was far far away. Maybe it was in the mud in France. All he could think right now, despite all his obligations, was that the moon was bright through Birmingham smoke, his cigarette was in his hand, the scent of tobacco filling a room that had the potential to cage him, and that in the dead of night when he couldn’t see him, Alfie’s voice still commanded attention. Even when he didn’t try.

“What did you want to talk to me about, sweetie? Hm?”

Alfie’s voice was sharper now and Tommy snapped out of his strange reverie.

“‘Cause it is the middle of the night, mate. This something they do in Birmingham yeah? Conduct business when it shouldn’t be fucking conducted? The night is for rum, Tommy, but here you are chatting to old Alfie. Something you wanna confess?”

The implication wasn’t lost on him and Tommy was amused in spite of himself. This fucker. Playing games when he’d betrayed him, and after the fuss he’d made about him being the bloke what shot Billy Kimber. 

“You’ve caught me Alfie. I was angling to get in bed with the sodomite from Camden Town.” He knew he sounded sarcastic saying it but some traitorous part of him asked whether Alfie would take this seriously if he just stopped speaking. “However, I got distracted. Upset. Half my family is behind bars Alfie, would you know anything about that?”

“Nah mate.” He dragged out the first syllable far longer than necessary. “Though I am sorry, right, that anything would distract you from me, sweetie. Truly is a shame that.” Tommy could hear him smirking and wished that he could joke again. He wanted for the moon to be all he noticed, but his obligations still loomed.

“Heard you made a deal with Sabini. Heard he didn’t keep up his side.”

“Mm. Some people can’t be helped Tommy. Some people don’t hold up deals and some people make them with the wrong people.”

Tommy couldn’t tell if this was Alfie admitting fault or telling him Tommy shouldn’t have trusted him in the first place. Either way, it was the closest he was going to get to an apology. Tommy hadn’t come for forgiveness anyways.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about Sabini, treacle. He will get his comeuppance.”

“Mm. Would you like help with that?”

“Tommy fucking Shelby. Always got a plan. Go on then, tell us what it is.”

_Pretty._  
-

_Fuck me. Look, I’ll give you thirty-five percent. That’s your lot._

_Thirty-five._

Tommy didn’t let his hand linger when he shook it with Alfie’s.

-

Tommy looked into the sky. Why was it so clear when his life fell apart beneath it? He thought he’d wanted to die but this, this wasn’t fucking acceptable. Did his fucking part for the crown and now its agents were going to kill him for it. 

Did his part for the crown before and put his life on the line. 

They’d dug him a grave and he was knelt in it. 

He knew that this was going to happen really, the weight of a letter in Ada’s hand. 

It had been so long since he had felt something, he thought he had felt alive with Grace but what love he had for her paled in comparison to the clawing feeling in his chest now. Tommy Shelby wanted to fucking live with a desperation stronger than anything since the war. For no other reason than base human need, there was nothing for him, not really. Grace, sure. A baby. A fucking baby. They were his safety. That is the life he was told to live and he almost got it. But he couldn’t think of them. Not anymore. 

All the lives he could have lived whispered to him. Greta called from a void. Grace whispered in his ear that she loved him. A smiling Tommy appeared in his head. Maybe that version of him could have felt true grief for these lost lives, he actually deserved to live them. This version of him was a ghost. The dead can’t mourn. They shouldn’t.

“In the bleak midwinter.”

A shot fired but there was no pain in his skull, only ringing. Another shot fired and Tommy lay in the dirt once again. Covered in blood again. The dead laying next to him again. He had cheated death again. He’d put himself in the line of fire for royalty in castles, far removed from him, again. 

Does dying twice make you alive again? Do they cancel out? 

Tommy moved without thought, numb until he tripped in the soil. He wept in relief and promised to himself that this time around he’d make sure the life he would build would be fucking worth it.

He wishes he were boy again but without that possibility, he will have to opt for being king.


End file.
